Christian (The Beck Brothers Series) Read online

  Shea would be lying if there hadn’t been moments in their friendship when he wondered what it would be like to be more than friends with Christian, especially after Christian came out to him. So he really wasn’t doing something that he hadn’t already thought about a time or two before.

  “Fine, whatever,” Christian scoffed before sipping his coffee.

  Shea walked over to the table and set his mug down before moving to stand behind Christian. He placed his hands on Christian’s shoulders and started to knead them. The tension in them was incredible. He had no idea how Christian dealt with his shoulders being this tight all of the time.

  “Dude, you need to relax,” Shea murmured.

  “You don’t understand, Shea. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this with you, and then out of nowhere, all of my dreams are coming true. I’m just having a hard time thinking this is real.”

  Shea yanked Christian’s chair out from the table to give himself room to straddle Christian’s lap. Christian stared up at him with wide eyes as Shea threw his leg over and sat down on his lap, facing him. Christian swallowed hard as Shea leaned in close and whispered, “How’s this for real?” before kissing Christian passionately.

  Christian sucked in a sharp breath through his nose and clutched fistfuls of the front of Shea’s shirt. Shea found that there wasn’t much difference between kissing a guy or a girl; a girl’s lips might be a bit softer, and they usually weren’t as aggressive or had stubble on their faces, but other than that, it was the same. However, Shea couldn’t say that it was the same because of the feelings he was experiencing. When he kissed Tara, the girl he had been seeing, he felt nothing compared kissing Christian. It was crazy the way his mind fogged and his heart fluttered. No woman has ever done that to him.

  Shea shoved his hands into Christian’s silky hair and tilted his head so that he could kiss him deeper. Christian moaned, his hands snaking around to Shea’s ass, where he grabbed it and pulled Shea closer. Shea could feel Christian’s erection against his own. Whoa! He hadn’t even realized that he was hard! He was just so into the kiss, he hadn’t noticed. Shea tore his mouth away from Christian’s. They sat there panting, their eyes locked on each other.

  “Wow, that was hot,” Shea rasped.

  “I’d have to agree.” Christian breathed.

  “Was that real enough for you?” asked Shea, eyebrow cocked in question.

  “Yes.”

  “Good, I’m your boyfriend now, Chris, don’t forget it,” said Shea, giving Christian a pointed look.

  Christian smiled softly. “Alright.”

  Christian kept his eyes on Shea as he got up off his lap. He didn’t want Shea to go, but he didn’t want to scare him away either by trying to do more than kiss. Christian wasn’t exactly convinced that Shea was going to be able to do more than that. He had said last night that being with another guy kind of freaked him out, so Christian wasn’t going to get his hopes up about this relationship. He had a feeling he was in for a world of heartache.

  Shea sat down in the chair to Christian’s left and took a sip of his coffee. He started talking, but Christian wasn’t fully listening. He was watching Shea’s full lips and imagining them wrapped around... Good Lord, it has been way too long since he’s had sex. He was dying to get Shea in bed; he has been fantasizing about it for over two years now. The things he wanted to do to this man... shit, sometimes Christian scared himself just thinking about it.

  Shea snapped his fingers in front of Christian’s face, making him start. “Chris, did you even hear a word I said?” Shea asked, his eyes dancing with amusement.

  “Huh? Sorry, no, I wasn’t listening,” Christian muttered with a sheepish grin.

  “Yeah, I know. You’ve been staring hungrily at my mouth the entire time.” Shea chuckled.

  Christian blushed. “I was not,” he mumbled and sipped his coffee.

  Shea laughed. “Come on, Chris, you can’t lie to me. You looked like you were starving and you wanted to devour my lips.”

  Christian closed his eyes and fought back the swirl of desire in his gut. He wanted to do that and more, and if Shea didn’t shut the hell up, he was going to attack him right here on the kitchen table.

  “When’s the last time you had sex?” Shea asked quietly.

  Christian’s eyes flew open and stared at Shea. “I don’t know, why?” he said quickly.

  “I think you’ve been deprived.” Shea smirked mischievously.

  Christian couldn’t deny it, he was deprived, and it was his own fault. Ever since realizing that he was in love with Shea, sex with anyone else just wasn’t appealing. Now that Shea was his boyfriend, he didn’t want to wait any longer - he wanted sex, and he wanted it right now. But he would hold back because Shea needed to go slow. He needed time to adjust, and there was no guarantee that he would enjoy it.

  Christian had been with a couple of girls when he was younger, just to make sure he was truly gay, which he was. He had been able to get off, but it was nowhere near as satisfying as when he was with a guy. Not that women weren’t beautiful or whatever, but he was attracted to men. That’s who really turned him on, who really got his blood pumping. And Shea...well, Shea set his blood on fire.

  Shea stood, finished off his coffee then grabbed Christian’s hand and gave it a tug. Christian looked up at him. “What?” he asked cautiously.

  “Come on, let’s give you some relief,” Shea murmured, his dark eyes serious.

  “Wha...I...are you sure?” Christian stuttered.

  Shea gave him a bored look and tugged his hand a little harder. Christian got up from the table and let Shea lead him into the living room. Shea shoved him down onto the couch then crawled on top of him. He planted a hand next to Christian’s head while the other skimmed up Christian’s bare side and over his chest to cup the side of his face. Shea then leaned down and kissed him languidly. Christian let his hands wander as this was the first time he was getting to explore Shea’s body in a sexual way.

  The first thing Christian did was unbutton Shea’s dress shirt that he still had on from last night. They worked together to get it off, then Shea pulled off the white wife beater he had on underneath, only breaking their kiss to pull it over his head. Christian moaned as he let his hands glide over Shea’s flat stomach. Oh God, he loved the feel of Shea’s skin. Shea dragged his mouth down to Christian’s neck then dropped his body down to lie completely on Christian, as he sucked and licked at his neck. Christian hissed as his skin started to burn wherever Shea touched him. Jesus, he was ready to explode. He was so hard that it was becoming painful.

  “Shea...touch me...please.” Christian gasped.

  Shea’s hand was suddenly between them. He dipped under both the loose waistband of the pajama pants Christian was wearing and his underwear, and then slid his hand deliciously slowly down the underside of Christian’s cock. Christian dug his head back into the couch cushion as his eyes practically rolled back into his head. Shea’s calloused hand closed around his shaft and started pumping slowly. The strangled cry that came out of Christian was something he’d never heard come out of himself before.

  “Jesus, Chris.” Shea choked before dragging his mouth back up to ravage Christian’s.

  Christian moaned low and kissed Shea like there was no tomorrow, pouring out all of the love he felt for the man on top of him. A minute later, Shea tore his mouth away and immediately pushed up to his knees. He grabbed the waistband of Christian’s pajama pants and underwear and tore them both off.

  Christian’s eyes widened as he watched Shea tear off his own pants and underwear. He had to be fucking dreaming! He was going to wake up from it any minute now... any minute...Shea again covered Christian’s body with his own, cutting off all thoughts in Christian’s mind.

  “Christian, tell me what to do, what do you like?” Shea murmured, his lips brushing against Christian’s.

  “I will love anything you do, I swear, just please don’t stop.” Christian breathed, his hands w
andering over Shea’s taut backside and gave it a squeeze.

  Shea’s breath hitched and his hips jutted forward which caused their hard cocks to rub together. “Shit,” Shea moaned.

  Christian reached down, wrapped his hand around both of them, and started to jerk them off together. Shea pushed up to his hands and dropped his head down to watch. Christian couldn’t help but watch, too. It was seriously sexy and Christian didn’t want to miss a moment of their first sexual encounter together. Shea thrust slightly into Christian’s hand, his breath coming hard and fast.

  “Motha...fuck...Chris, I’m gonna come,” Shea bit out.

  “Me, too.” Christian panted.

  Christian pumped his hand faster and squeezed a little tighter. Shea cried out, his whole body jerking as he came hard. Christian felt the first spurt of Shea’s come hit his stomach and he lost it. He grit his teeth as he exploded along with Shea, who moaned long and low. Christian opened his eyes, not even realizing that he had closed them and saw Shea staring down at him, his dark eyes swirling with such intense emotions that it made Christian’s heart stop in his chest.

  Never in all of Shea’s twenty-seven years had he ever been so overwhelmed - not even when his parents and sister died. He felt like his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. What he just did with Christian felt so fucking good that he had no words for it. He didn’t have any words for the way it made him feel, either. The intensity of the whole situation was leaving him speechless; all he could do was stare down at Christian, thinking that he wanted more. More of what, though? That was the question. He already had Christian’s heart. More sex? Well...duh! But something else that he didn’t quite have a name for.

  Shea leaned down and kissed Christian softly. “That...was incredible,” he rasped.

  Christian’s brown eyes widened slightly. “Really?” he asked, the hint of hope in his voice hurt Shea more than he thought it would. Christian still doubted him.

  “Yes, really,” Shea answered sincerely.

  Christian seemed to let out a breath that he had been holding and Shea bit back a nasty retort. He didn’t want to ruin the moment, and he knew that he was going to have to work to get Christian to believe that he really wanted this. Shea grabbed the tissues off the coffee table, took a couple for himself, and then handed the box to Christian. They cleaned up then put their clothes back on. Shea left off his dress shirt, though.

  Shea looked over at Christian who was now sitting next to him on the couch looking utterly relaxed for the first time in...shit, Shea couldn’t even remember the last time he’d seen Christian looking so chill.

  “Feel better?” Shea asked, raising an eyebrow in question.

  Christian rolled his head along the back of the couch so that he could look over at Shea. The lazy smile that curled his gorgeous mouth has Shea’s heart fluttering madly. “Much better, thank you.”

  Shea smiled warmly. “You’re welcome, sweetie pie,” he teased.

  Christian chuckled and rested his hand on Shea’s thigh. Shea covered Christian’s hand with his own. This was so right. Shea knew at that moment that he had made the right decision last night, and he was going to show Christian just how fucking serious he was about it. He was in this relationship for the long haul, and he would make sure Christian knew it. Shea Dempsey didn’t do anything half-assed, and he wasn’t going to start now.

  ~Chapter 2~

  Two weeks later, Christian drove to his parents’ house for dinner; Shea was working late and couldn’t make it. The job he was working was taking up a lot of his time because the client had a deadline. Shea had been busting his ass for the past week and a half, working the weekend and everything. Christian had only seen him for an hour or so the other night and that had been it since he started the job.

  Sebastian and Raelynn were back from their honeymoon in Aruba and had pictures to show them all, so Christian’s mother, Anne, was having everyone over for dinner. Christian parked his blue Honda Accord in the driveway behind Henry’s white BMW. He got out of his car just as Quinn and Margot pulled up. He waited for them to get out of their car. Margot smiled wide and waved as she walked up to him.

  “Bonjour, Christian!” she said happily and kissed both his cheeks before giving him a hug.

  “Bonjour, Margot,” he replied with a smile.

  She let him go and started up the walkway to the house. Christian turned toward Quinn who stopped in next to him. “She’s perkier than normal.” He chuckled.

  “Quit looking at my woman’s chest,” Quinn replied.

  Christian gaped at him. “I...I wasn’t...”

  Quinn smiled. “Relax, Chris, I’m just fucking with ya,” he said and clapped Christian on the back before draping his arm over his shoulders.

  Christian narrowed his eyes at Quinn. His brother has definitely changed a lot since Margot came into his life. He still has not gotten used to Quinn cracking jokes, or actually touching him all of a sudden. Ever since he came back from that week that he left without a word, he has been a completely different person - he talked more, he laughed more, and even his face was more expressive.

  Quinn was also in the process of starting his own architectural firm. Since his former friend and boss, Peter, fired him, Quinn decided that he wanted to be his own boss. Margot also quit her job at Peter’s firm and was going to be Quinn’s second in command.

  They walked into the house together and were met with hugs, kisses, and punches to the gut; those were from Sebastian, of course. Christian took Adalyn from Henry’s arms since she started reaching for him and grunting as soon as she saw him. Christian smiled at her. She seemed to like him the best, and he loved to rub it in Sebastian and Quinn’s faces. Adalyn was the only girl so far, and they all wanted to be her favorite, but she always wanted Christian.

  Suddenly, all of the women started screaming. Christian looked up to find them all huddled around Margot clutching her left hand. He whirled around to look at Quinn, who was beaming, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched the women fawn over his fiancé. Anne broke away from the ladies and went to Quinn. She grabbed his face and kissed him.

  “Oh, honey, I’m so happy for you!” she cried.

  “Thanks, mom,” Quinn murmured.

  Henry was next to congratulate Quinn. “When did this happen?” he asked after giving Quinn a hug.

  “I actually proposed at the reception, but we decided to let Sebastian and Raelynn have their time in the spotlight before we told everyone.” Quinn shrugged.

  “Aw, Quinn, that was so sweet of you,” Raelynn said sincerely and gave him a hug.

  Christian moved in to give Quinn a hug. “Congrats, man.”

  “Thanks.”

  Christian hoped that his smile looked genuine because the sadness that settled in his heart almost brought him to his knees. Then Sebastian made a comment that had him going into a full out panic attack mode.

  “You’re next little brother!” Sebastian chuckled and grabbed Christian’s shoulders from behind, giving him a playful shake.

  Christian swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. His heart pounded wildly in his chest and his vision went a little fuzzy. He tried to pull in a deep breath but he just couldn’t. Henry, who was standing in front of him, frowned and took Adalyn out of his arms.

  “Chris, you okay? You look really pale,” Henry said, concerned.

  Christian jerkily shook his head and raced down the hall toward the bathroom. He heard Sebastian call, “I was only kidding!” just as he shut the door behind him. He sat down on the edge of the tub and tucked his head between his knees. He pulled in a breath through his nose and blew it out of his mouth. He repeated this until he got his anxiety under control.

  Christian rested his face in his hands. What the fuck? How the hell was he supposed to ever tell his family that he would most likely never be getting “married”? Now, all of his brothers were going to be married and popping out kids while he hid his relationship with his best friend and let hi
s family think that he just didn’t want to settle down. He was never going to fit in with his brother’s perfect lives and it killed him. He hated that he was never going to be able to give his mother the grandchildren that she expected him to have. Even Quinn, who had been super fucked up from being raped as a child was now getting married and would most likely have kids in the near future. He was next in line; his family expected him to follow in their footsteps; they expected him to get married and have kids. Little did they know that it wasn’t possible for Christian.

  A light knock sounded on the door followed by Margot’s voice. “Christian? Chéri, can I come in?”

  “Yeah.” Christian sighed and straightened up.

  She walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. “Is everything okay?” she asked, her tone concerned.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a panic attack.”

  “But why?” she asked curiously, her gaze on him was more perceptive than he would have liked.

  He shrugged. “Don’t know, sometimes they just hit me out of nowhere,” he said. It was partially the truth; sometimes they did come out of nowhere, just not this time.

  “Mmm hmm, but as soon as Sebastian said that you were next, you had a panic attack,” she said with a pointed look.

  Dammit! “I...it...it’s just not in the cards for me, that’s all,” he muttered, averting his eyes, hoping Margot didn’t see too much.

  “Why not? You are a very handsome man, Christian. I am sure you have women falling at your feet all of the time,” she said, sitting down next to him on the side of the tub.

  Why did she have to be so damn persistent?

  “Or would you rather it be men?” Margot whispered.

  He whipped his head around to stare at her in shock. How that hell did she know? She gave him a gentle smile and nodded as she patted his thigh.

  “Oui, that is what I thought.”